Crazy
by Lolabean07
Summary: Sue and Charlie's relationship seemed to move too fast after Harry's death, but what if there was more to the story? What if they'd waited years to be together? This is the story of a young love that was lost.


**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Charlie wasn't sure why he was here. Surely, he could have come up with some excuse – work, his parents, or sudden and unexpected illness – anything that got him out of this church and his overly tight suit. Instead he was sitting in a pew, trapped on both sides by friends and family of the bride and groom.

He fidgeted, pulling at the constricting collar of his dress shirt. His fingers itched to undo the top button. He dropped his hand to his lap and curled both hands into fists. It was the only measure he could think of to stop himself from ripping his light blue tie off.

He looked around the church, trying to find something to capture his attention. To distract him from the reason why he was here and dressed as he was. It was hardly surprising when his eyes landed on _her_.

She was a vision in creamy white satin. A flimsy tulle veil covered her inky black hair. Her tanned cheeks were flushed with the most delicate bloom of roses. He was too far away to see her eyes clearly, but they seemed to sparkle. The glimmer could be caused by a myriad of emotions – happiness, love, sorrow, or resignation.

He fervently hoped it was the latter and at the same time, he couldn't wish her a lifetime of unhappiness. He loved her too much for that. He could keep his feelings hidden and be a friend. It's what they'd been before, so it couldn't be that hard to go back to that.

* * *

He remembered the first time they met. He'd been six at the time and she was five. She was vivacious and brave, challenging the boys to various feats of strength and endurance. She hadn't been worried about the dirt and mud that streaked their limbs and clothes.

Harry, Billy, and Quil were two years older than him and to them Sue was nothing more than an annoying girl. Sure, she wasn't crying or complaining now, but according to Billy, _"Just wait, they always do sooner or later" _and Billy would know as he had four sisters.

Charlie didn't care, he liked her. He liked her in a way that made him want to get to know her better, and her smile made him blush. When she talked to him, his stomach fluttered with butterflies and he couldn't say more than a one or two word response to her.

Fast forward ten years later – a bonfire on First Beach. Under the cover of darkness, their hands touched. At first it was by accident; it ignited a spark of something neither had ever felt, which jolted through them. Their young bodies were primed with desires and wants that they didn't understand.

That night when the fire grew small and cold, he offered to walk her home. His offer was readily accepted. Their friends barely noticed their departure. Billy and Quil absorbed with their girlfriends while Harry was nowhere to be found.

They walked slowly to her house; his stride relaxed to match hers. When they reached her doorway, they turned and faced each other awkwardly. Their hands clasped behind their backs.

"Thanks for walking me."

"It's nothing, Suzie," he remarked with a shrug. "What kind of future officer would I be if I didn't walk a lady home?"

It was Charlie's ambition to attend the academy and become an officer in the Forks Police Department. Recently, he'd gotten an opportunity to shadow one of Forks' finest for the day. It had been that experience that cemented in his mind what his future career would be.

"Is that the only reason why?" she asked him; her voice sounded different. The quality of it was more of a husky whisper.

He blushed, the redness creeping over more than his cheeks. His eyes dropped to the wooden planks that composed the porch. He rubbed his sneaker against a worn board.

He was startled at the cool feel of her lips on his cheek. Her body fell towards his as she became off-balanced from her quick movements. Automatically, his hands reached for her shoulders; his fingers and thumbs pressed into her skin as he steadied her.

She pulled her lips from him. Their eyes slowly moved until their gazes met. The only sound was that of their shuddering breaths and racing hearts; though neither could hear the other's despite its thunderous beating.

They stood there transfixed for several long moments. In the soft orange glow of the porch light, he could scarcely make out her features – not that he needed any light as he had them memorized. Her eyes were the darkest brown – nearly black. Her face still had the roundedness of childhood and long hair framed her face.

A light switched on in the entryway. The door opened swiftly, but not before they broke apart. Jonathan Uley stood in the doorway; his lips turned down in displeasure and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Susan, it's time for you to come inside." His voice rang out like a command.

"Oh, yes, of course," she stuttered. "Thank you again, Charlie."

He nodded. His tongue was still twisted in his mouth and unable to form actual words. His eyes followed her as she pulled open the wooden screen door to enter the house. For a moment, she looked as though she would pause, but her father's words negated that possibility.

"Susan, get to bed. It's late."

Meekly, she nodded before standing up on her tiptoes. She placed a tiny peck on her father's grizzled cheek. "Goodnight, father."

Jonathan waited until the soft footsteps of his daughter receded before addressing the young man standing in front of him. The Atearas may have no problem with their bloodline being tainted with that of a _hok'wat_, but not him. He had plans for daughter and they didn't include marrying someone not of Quileute ancestry.

"Charles," he boomed. "I had hoped we'd never have to have this conversation, but I can see it is necessary."

Charlie stared at the older man in front of him. His tongue loosened and he opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but something on his face must have shown his confusion as Sue's father continued.

"I can understand the fascination. My daughter is a lovely and spirited young woman. She is kind and caring. Someday she will make a young _Quileute _man very happy; creating a joyous home and giving him children. Do you understand?"

Charlie was shocked. It was the first time he'd ever been made to feel like an outsider. He realized that this was likely how his friends felt when they went to places outside La Push, but he knew it was worse for them. They endured slurs and derogatory marks. There were times they feared violence. If he could feel this way because of one person's dislike – _how would it feel to have the dislike of many? _

"Charles?" Jonathan questioned. His eyes were the same color as his daughter's only with a hardened quality to them.

He cleared his throat, his right hand reached upwards and rubbed the back of his neck as he found the words, "Yes, sir. I understand."

* * *

A few years later, he found it impossible to keep his promise. Sue graduated high school and received a partial scholarship to Gray Harbor College in Aberdeen. It was so easy when they were away from their _real lives_ to forget; both of them in school, pursuing their dreams. He stayed in Forks and commuted to Peninsula College. On the weekends he'd make the two hour drive to be with her.

It had been such a smooth transition from friends, to best friends, to lovers that neither realized what was happening until they were too deeply involved to turn back. They kept their relationship secret. They weren't ready to find out how their mutual friends would react. In the back of Charlie's mind were the words of Sue's father. And Sue knew deep down that it wouldn't matter that Charlie was practically Quileute – it would still be a battle for complete acceptance. So, like all young lovers, they lived in the here and now; the future was a distant vision.

Each summer when Sue was on break, there were ample opportunities for them to see each other. The white lies fell from their lips with ease. The months of practice had made them experts and any remorse they felt was quickly tamped down. They weren't trying to hurt anyone, not intentionally.

When Charlie graduated with his degree in Criminal Justice, almost immediately he was offered a position on the Forks Police Department. For the next year, he worked; scrimping and saving so that he could purchase a house. He hoped Sue would share it with him. They could start their lives together in Forks; still near her family, but not under the dissecting glare of the tribe. It would give her family time to accept things.

If only he was psychic, then he would've seen what was to come. He'd no sooner purchased _their _house and picked out a small, yet perfect wedding band set that everything began to fall apart.

He carried the small black velvet box in with him every time he went to see her. He waited, looking for the prefect moment to ask her to be his forever. Days and soon weeks passed. His anxiety increased exponentially for each second he delayed, but he couldn't seem to work up the courage.

Finally, another summer was upon them. Sue only had a single year left to complete her nursing degree. Before long, she would be _home_ and he longed for it to be with him.

His parents suggested he have a house warming party. He'd been so busy with work, making small changes around the house, and seeing Sue whenever he could that his friends hadn't had the opportunity to see his home.

Billy and Sarah showed up first with enough potato salad to feed an army. Charlie started the charcoal grill and got ready to put the marinated chicken on it. Next were a few officers he worked with. The three of them were all bachelors so their offerings consisted of packaged foods – chips and dip, store-bought cookies, and sad display of fresh vegetables. After that it was Quil and Joy with Charlie's favorite – fry bread. It was the last two arrivals that made his heart break.

Harry and Sue. His eyes misted with tears. A hard lump formed in his throat, constricting it painfully. His gaze ran along their entwined limbs. Harry's arm was draped possessively across her shoulders. His fingers clung to her upper arm. The difference between their skin tones was barely noticeable.

Charlie wanted to throw his head back, opening his mouth to the sky and scream in rage. He'd waited too long. Or perhaps, he'd misunderstood her feelings. He'd thought they'd had an understanding.

He couldn't get his mouth to form the words to greet them. The constriction in his throat grew until it seemed to cut off air to his lungs. Without a word, he handed the tongs to Quil, who happened to be closest to him. Turning, he walked into his house and into the lower level bath.

He closed the door softly and it made a quiet snick. His hand reached into the pocket of his worn blue jeans. The familiar ring box no longer provided the comfort it once had. He pulled it out and opened it. The hinges remained stiff despite all the times he'd practiced asking her.

It had been more than he could afford at the time, but she was worth it. The bands were crafted of white gold. The wedding band wrapped around and entwined with the engagement ring. Its single round diamond solitaire sparkled in the dim beam of sunlight that streamed through the small window.

He stared at the ring. His fingers traced the cool metal. It was nothing other than an assembled collection of precious metals and jewels, yet it symbolized so much to him. It was to be part of their official coming-out. His promise that she would never lack for love, laughter, and happiness and that even the dark times could be faced as long as they did it together.

"Charlie?" Sue called through the wooden barrier between them.

He pretended that he had just been using the bathroom. He reached over and flushed the commode before turning on the water to the sink. It was during those actions, that he closed the ring box and tossed it in the storage area underneath the sink. He ran his hands underneath the water and sloppily dried them on the scrap of linen hanging from the towel ring.

He took a deep breath and released it, then opened the door. He schooled his features into an expression that he hoped masked his inner turmoil. He might have pulled it off had he been able to meet her eyes.

"Charlie?" she questioned. Her face echoed the concern in her voice. Instinctively, she reached a hand to touch his face.

He lurched backwards out of her reach. Her expression crumpled and tears gathered in her eyes. At the same time her hand jerked back and came to rest on her chest.

"I don't think it's appropriate for us to be in here alone."

His words and voice reminded her of her father. Charlie had never spoken that way to her before. His tone was cold; his body language suddenly aloof. He'd even managed to compose himself and hide his earlier hurt.

She got the feeling she was no longer looking at Charlie. Instead this was _Officer Swan _– the focused and serious young officer who would likely go far in his career. It wouldn't surprise her if someday he rose up the ranks and become the police chief.

They stood there, facing each other off. Neither bold enough to walk away nor say the words that it would take to forever halt their feelings. Or at the very least make it so they could hate the other. But deep down, Charlie was too nice for that and Sue, regardless of her choice, she'd never stop loving Charlie.

She'd always known her father expected more from her than her brother. Not only was she expected to marry the _right _person and be a good mother and wife, but he wanted her to graduate from college and have a career that would enable her to give back to their community. It was why she had chosen nursing. She could understand the unique health issues that faced Native Americans and find solutions that would work.

She'd hoped in time her father would see Charlie as she did. A good man who deeply cared for her and would ensure she'd never want for anything. That his prejudice against Charlie could be overcome somehow. It was wishful thinking; proven when she'd arrived home for the summer a short week ago.

"Everything alright in here?" Billy's voice interrupted their staring contest.

Charlie cleared his throat before responding, "Yeah, I was just showing Sue around."

He walked around her and found Billy standing in the small, but bright kitchen. He plastered a smile on his face and prepared to act as though nothing was different. That today was no more than a beautiful day to spend time with friends.

"What'd you think?" Billy asked Sue.

"It's beautiful."

"That's what we thought, too – Sarah and I. Now all you have to do is find the right woman to share it with," Billy teased. He clapped Charlie on the shoulder, giving him a half-hug-gesture of support that was common among the guys as they'd gotten older. At his jovial laugh, Sue and Charlie joined in weakly.

_I thought I had_, a small voice whispered in Charlie's head as the three of them walked out to rejoin the others.

* * *

The ceremony had been thankfully brief. Now they were all gathered at the small community center for the reception. In the past year, he'd barely spoken to Sue. He'd avoided her when he could though the fact they had mutual friends made it exceedingly difficult.

He slammed the remainder of his drink when Jonathan's voice proudly introduced the couple, "Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater!" The applause and cheering that followed was deafening. It further twisted his heart into knots and made his chest throb.

He'd been so grateful that Harry hadn't asked him to be one of the groomsmen. He didn't know how he would have dealt with standing so close to her – yet with a million miles between them. He couldn't imagine going with to help Harry pick out his suit, looking for wedding bands, or finding the perfect honeymoon getaway.

It was torture enough to be here today. It had been hard enough to live in his too-big and empty house. He heard every creak and groan as the house settled and was battered by the wind and rain. He struggled to make the place something other than a bachelor pad, but he had no sense of design. He found pieces that were functional, not pretty. What he had really wanted was for Sue to put her own touch on the place. It would have been the two of them that made it a home. Instead, he feared it was always only be a house.

He found his assigned table and waited to be served. Either his current mood influenced his view of the food or the chicken really was dry and bland, the potatoes soupy, and the green beans were overcooked and wilted. He'd never know.

_Why hadn't he made his escape yet? _

He had sat through the ceremony and dinner. Surely, he could feign an early shift tomorrow and leave before the dance started. But he stayed right where he was, martyring himself. He had to; it was who he had become – this stoic person who vowed never to reveal his feelings of disappointment or hurt. It was his only defense against heartbreak in the future.

From his spot he watched as the bride and groom had their first dance. Then the mother-son and father-daughter dance. He politely declined the dollar dance by faking a need to use the restroom and for fresh air.

As the lilting melody of Patsy Cline's _Crazy _filled the air, the soft swish of satin reached his ears. He glanced up and there she was standing in front of him. Had Harry not been standing next to her, he might have gazed at her longer. Instead his eyes moved from her to Harry.

He pushed himself to his feet and held his hand out to his friend. Harry's hand met his halfway, clasping it as they shook hands. "Congrats," he remarked with a wry grin.

"Thanks, Charlie. Sue and I, we really appreciate you being here."

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sue's slight nod and pained grin. "It's nothing," he said with a shrug. "We've been friends for years – where else would I be?"

"True. But don't think I haven't noticed you sitting here by yourself. Why don't you take Sue for a spin out on the dance floor?"

He nervously rubbed the back of his calf with his shoe while his right hand reached up and did the same to his neck. "Yeah…I'm not sure about that…"

"Oh, come on!" Harry cajoled.

Unwittingly he'd put both his wife and Charlie in an awkward spot. There wasn't a good enough reason for Charlie to continue to say no. There was nothing Sue could say that wouldn't raise suspicions.

So instead of protesting, he reached for Sue's arm and led her to the dance floor. They turned to each other; his left hand grasped hers while his right hand rested on her waist. Her left hand came to rest on his shoulder. Through his many layers of clothing, he felt her touch as though it was on his bare skin.

Together they swayed to the music. Unconsciously their bodies drifted closer until there wasn't space between them. Sue stared at his throat and noticed as his Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow and the fast tempo of his heartbeat. She wanted to look up and into his eyes, but she was too scared. She hated what she'd put him through. She was angry with him because he'd never given her a chance to explain. Instead, he'd shut her out of his life.

She couldn't take it anymore. She had to say something. She wanted him back in her life. She missed him.

"Charlie," she began hesitantly. She raised her eyes to find his. "I'm sorry. I need to…"

He cut her words off. "Don't, Suzie. Just don't. Don't ruin it."

"But…"

"I don't care. I don't want to understand it."

And even though it wasn't the truth, he vowed to make it so. It wouldn't happen today or tomorrow, but someday. As the music ended, he pushed her away from him and walked her back over to Harry.

* * *

_14 months later _

He'd thought the day of Sue and Harry's marriage would be the hardest day. He was wrong. There had been many hard days since then. First had been the day they'd announced Sue's pregnancy. Then the day that they shared it was going to be a girl.

He dreamed that night of a little miniature of Sue; dark hair and eyes; an impish grin and an infectious giggle. In his dream she was his and Sue's. He watched her grow into a beautiful young woman; his heart swelled with pride and joy.

The next morning he woke with his heart aching and stomach twisting. The image of the girl haunted him for the remainder of the week. The months passed and on a cold September morning, Leah was born. He'd managed to avoid the hospital, but he couldn't hide forever.

He'd come face to face with the child who haunted him the day Sue was released from the hospital. Harry, Sue, and little Leah stopped by his house on their way home to La Push. Opening his door and seeing them there had hit him like a punch in the gut. Even worse was what Harry asked of him.

They'd been sitting in his living room. Leah was lying awkwardly in his arms. She was so tiny and fragile that he was afraid he'd hurt her if he held her too firm or close.

"So, Charlie, we've been talking," Harry began. Charlie looked up and noticed how Sue looked away. "We'd like you to be Leah's godfather. It'd mean a great deal to the both of us."

_This was never going to end, _he thought. Mutely he nodded. He'd do anything to get them out of his house faster. Even this, he agreed to be part of Leah's life forever – the child that _should _be his and Sue's.

"Wonderful!" Harry exclaimed. His face radiated joy as he reached his arm around Sue and squeezed her tight before turning and kissing her on the temple. "I told you he would. I guess I can be right about some things after all."

She cleared her throat and smiled weakly. "I guess so, dear," she said softly.

Charlie held Leah for the rest of their visit while they shared plans for Leah's dedication and naming ceremony. Strangely it was long enough for the little girl to make a place in his heart. He would make the best of this situation and be someone that Leah could look up and come to if she needed help.

Two weeks later was Leah's ceremony. Afterwards, he found himself driving to First Beach. The ring he'd bought for Sue was tucked into his pocket. If he was going to truly do this – be part of Sue and Harry's life – he'd have to get rid of anything that symbolized their relationship.

He pulled his car to a stop in the gravel lot. Turning his car off, he got out and slowly walked to the beach. It was a rare sunny day; not warm, but still nice enough for there to be some tourists enjoying the scenery.

He stood on the water's edge and reached into his pocket. The diamonds and gold sparkled in the sunlight. He stayed there for a long time, looking out at the ocean and then down at the ring in his hand. The vastness of the water in front of him was a reminder. A reminder of how insignificant they all were.

He took a final look at the object in his hand and thought back to what it represented – what it was meant to represent. He could do this – he _would _do this. This was the last thing he had to get rid of.

He closed his fist around it; raising his arm he threw the ring into the ocean. He could barely see it as it lobbed through the air. It hit the water with an indiscernible splash. He stood there for a few more moments before turning to leave.

"Excuse me," he said as he stopped abruptly. He'd nearly run into a young tourist.

"No, it's my fault," she remarked; her cheeks flushed pink. "I'm Renée…my friends," she started, pointing to a small group of people on the far end of the beach. "They dared me to come over and introduce myself. I was working up the nerve to say 'hi' when you turned. Now, I just feel silly."

"Charlie."

"Huh?"

"My name's Charlie," he said as his eyes met the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Her skin was touched with a healthy glow likely from hours spent outdoors. Her brown hair was streaked with blonde.

She laughed, "Of course. Charlie – your name. I don't know what I was thinking. Anyway…are you doing anything tonight?"

He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand as he replied, "No."

"Good. I heard there's pretty good food at the diner in Forks. How about you, me, and some diner food?"

"Sure."

This was going to be his next step in recovery. Surely fate had brought him here today and this new person into his life.


End file.
